The Rides Of Life

got back from rehearsal from Winnie's piano concert.....
her students are adorable!!! so cute... esp, the hosts.... hehe....
guess they were really nervous so they didn't do as well as they should....
luckily, it's only a rehearsal.... the actual thing is next saturday.....
well, sang a song called 'the scientist' with winnie on piano.....
screwed up a line of the 2nd verse, dunno why, but my mind just went blank.....
haha..... i was actually nervous too..... playing to a crowd which is either too young (the students) or too old (the parents)
makes it feel really out of place...... but when i see the children, my heart just melts..... they're so cuteeeeee!!!!
i guess things should be better on the day itself.... everybody should be more prepared.
poor winnie, all so stressed about it cuz she's the teacher and she wants the best for her students....
will try my best to help her out.... hope i dun make it worse..... hee =)

sunday, sunday..... oh what a slack-ful day...... shoiks

posted by de @ 11:23 AM 0 comments

church was good.... pastor talked about Jonah.... i guess you know the story.
went to fugene's exibition after church.... nice work he did....
He's exibit was about our band, Crown of Thorns....
it's always good to have a designer in the band.... hehe =)
then went back to take a nap cuz i only got like 5-6hrs of sleep
went to Zouk with tim for laselle's multimedia exibition.....
stayed for awhile then left cuz i find no meaning in what they did....
too abstract for me.... guess i'm not that artsy fartsy hehe.....
just a plain,straight-forward thinking, normal guy.....
then went to east coast to play pool with andy and val.....
wah lao, ah beng hangout sia...... then went to simpang bedok for supper.....
then back home...... having a headache now....
refuse to take panadol cuz i dun want my body to rely on drugs....
and it's a mild one, tahan-able......

i guess the term "no pain, no gain" applies in my life now.....
literally and emotionally......
everyday's a new day..... it's up to one to make it a good day.

posted by de @ 2:30 PM 0 comments

can't sleep..... so i did this quiz
it's called WHICH INCUBUS SONG ARE YOU?
i'm a song called '11am' ... here's the explaination


Oh boy, your "11am". Currently, your
suffering from some sort of depression because
you just got out of a bad relationship, or
theres someone who just wants nothing to do
with you. (family,friends,etc) Dont worry
though, your good wits will pull you through
with some spiritual relief. Dont let no one
bring you down because that means you've got
something to offer!


What Incubus Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

posted by de @ 1:27 PM 0 comments

camp as usual..... went to meet up with some poly school mates for dinner
went down to Phuture with Tim for this Scratch-Battling DJ com thingy....
it's not bad..... they're not as good as the pros, but BIG UP to them for living up scratch dj-ing
man, so many chicks making so many moves.....
but "ba-bodoh" is the word.... hehe
i'm bloody 'tao' sia.... hehe

wah lao eh, mambo night at zouk.... cant' take it man....
it was a good laugh for Tim and I, especially when they made their 'commnunication actions' to the songs
choot pattern sia!!! haheaha.....
stayed in zouk for like 2 mins then we walked out of the place.....
it was too much for me to bear.... hehe

posted by de @ 10:40 AM 0 comments

i've been thinking of signing on as a paramedic.....
i find the job challenging and rewarding, cuz it's about saving lives
the pay is good and there are quite alot of benefits....
the only thing is the thought of being bonded with the force for 7-10years
well, i've been giving it alot of thought and maybe i could hear what you guys n gals have to say about it

you can check out the scdf website about it or click on this link below

http://www.scdf.gov.sg/html/career/cr_ers-pms.html#3

hit me with ya views!!! =)

posted by de @ 8:54 AM 0 comments

boring boring day........ nothing interesting happened
except for going to the gym, it's a dead day.......
ahh, got my dose of fermented bean curd for dinner
shoiks......

zzzzzzzzzzz.............

posted by de @ 7:51 AM 0 comments

handled a fits patient today. was the worse one i've seen so far.....
he was trembling so violently and his fingers were all cramped up
saliva was oozing out of his mouth, then came blood.....
dammit, he bit his tongue before we can do anything.....
but he was ok after awhile......
ok gonna share some stuff with you

what to do when you encounter a fits victim

1.) DO NOT panick, jagan tension and relak one corner
2.) If you're near enough, do not let the bugger fall
3.) Slowly lay the bugger down on the ground sideways (prone position)
4.) Call 995, if got someone beside you, lagi best, ask the bugger the call while you tend to the other bugger
5.) If the bugger's mouth is still open, try not to let the bugger bite his/her tongue
6.) DO NOT force anything into the bugger's mouth
7.) Wait for the ambulance to come, dun run away
8.) After the ambulance leave with the bugger, pray for the bugger to be ok

9.) If you think you cannot do the steps mentioned above to help the poor bugger who's having fits, just walk away, save you the trouble.... wahhahaha!!!!

Aight, that's all folks for this lesson, SAVING BUGGERS. Tune in next time for more bugger-saving lessons.

posted by de @ 11:20 AM 0 comments

4.40am now...... woke up suddenly from my sleep.....
dunno why, had no nightmare or dream..... just an instant reaction
sheesh, i'm losing it i guess..... can't get back to sleep no matter how i try
oh well, it's 2 hours before i go to camp.....

i gotta get myself out of this misery......
i dun want to be trapped and brought down......
i need to realise the reality and accept it......
it's hard, but somehow that's life i guess......
it's about time i should move on.....
I've been in this state for too long......
all this pain and grief just adds up to nothing.....
nobody will take any pity and sympathy
it's a selfish world out there.....

gotta brace up.....

posted by de @ 1:57 PM 0 comments

didn't sleep till 8am..... miss church and also the combined youth worship at thomson
i'm just so down, i dun think i can ever get up again......
so many thoughts in my head, so many unanswered questions.....
wish i could just blow my head off with a gun, to stop me from thinking.....
all this paranoid feelings is really killing me slowly.....
i wonder when will it all end..... cuz i don't think i can take it anymore

God help me.........

posted by de @ 5:46 AM 0 comments

had dinner with fu at tao kee.....
it's been a long time since i've last been there
but we suddenly had a craving for their food
best ze char food in singapore to me man.....

went to watch matrix:reloaded with tim, symon and terence
it's a good show..... with wicked effects!!! 40 million worth of it!!
but the show has some 'hidden meanings' to it.....
i guess only the directors know what they are......
it's 5.30am now, dun think i'll be sleeping cuz got work later.....
hehe..... zombie will i become..... what's new......

posted by de @ 2:35 PM 0 comments

work as usual, nothing much.....
wednesday is the most slack day cuz there's no MO.....

went to watch a show with chris and june.... Animatrix
sucks..... but the graphics are good
oh well, that's about it for today......

oh, got this free digicam from a friend.
some cheapo brand, Oregon Scientific
but it's super small and slim, like the size of 10 name cards stacked together.
it's free, so i'm not complaining.... hehe

posted by de @ 1:31 PM 0 comments

just handled a guy with 39 degrees fever..... might be a suspected case....
the new medic boy was so paranoid about it and he kept saying loudly in front of the guy, 'he got sars ah, jia lat' repeatedly.....
wah lao, i felt like slapping him..... we medics should be in charge of the situation and not terrorise patients with panaroid thoughts......
i scolded him after the guy left..... sheesh, guess he got lots to learn about dealing with patients.....

well, i'm not so worried about that.... i'm more worried that jesse, my colleague, has a high fever also.....
if he still continues to have a fever, he has to go for a blood test.... do pray for him aight?

man, it just sucks to see the uglier true colours of people when in down times.
why are people so scared of death? if you have to go, you have to go.....
it's all arranged. It's God's will.... no one can change that.
the important thing is, are we ready for what's to come after death?
the second coming..... stay tuned, it's real close

posted by de @ 10:01 AM 0 comments

nothing much happened today at work..... same old routine
the screwed up SCDF delayed our NSF pay because of a system error
so no pay till the 14th...... i'm like super broke now
so broke i had to break into my savings..... sheesh

went back for dinner, then decided to practice on scratching....
man, i'm falling in love with it..... at the same time, practiced mixing too....
it'll be shoiks if i can master both......

trying to make an effort to spend more time with God.....
i've been neglecting Him..... well at the same time, should share what i read too
man, i really wouldn't know what to do if there wasn't a God.....
life will be a big void......

posted by de @ 7:28 AM 0 comments

Do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written,
"Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord.

—Romans 12:19

-Verse for Thought-

posted by de @ 7:05 AM 0 comments

Just Misery

Please tell me there’s a point to your never-ending lies and hypocrisy
I’m showing the common courtesy, while giving in to your persistent plea
You think different of me? Well pardon my stupidity,
Or am I just playing dumb, I think I’m going blind, silly me


Hello, goodbye my acquaintances
The mask of deception we all hide in
My sphere of influence from the people around,
Conforms me to the world which is not mine at all
Aggravation builds up when talk is cheap,
Skeptical is me, with the thought of living emptily


Can You show me the way to live
This life of mine, so full of grief
Direct me to the path that I should go
So that I’ll find something, someone, to fill my soul


The only hope that I will see, is the light You shine on me

posted by de @ 11:06 AM 0 comments

slept till 2pm..... feels like a lazy sunday again.....
it's either i can't sleep, or i'll sleep too much....
screwed up system i have....

went jamming with the guys.... man, it's good to jam again as a whole band
we worked on a new song called 'Just Misery'
wrote it when i was feeling really really down....
felt like the whole world was against me then....
but God was the only person beside me all the way....

Liverpool lost.... dammit..... 2-1 to chelsea....
no champions league for them next season....
oh well.... the ball is round i guess....

posted by de @ 11:02 AM 0 comments

church as usual, but this week was a parent's day special.....
had my usual duck rice and noodles after service.....
and my usual nap afterwards.......
met my parents, bro and irene for a mother's day dinner cele thingy at holland v, and while waiting for them, i saw Kit Chen!!!
man she's quite pretty in real life.....
then went off to meet fu and bel. didn't know where to go so i suggested bowling.....
marina that is..... and we saw Lena Ng there! wah lao, 2 stars in one night......
think i must go buy 4D liao..... hehe

posted by de @ 11:57 AM 0 comments

nothing much happened today at camp.......
met tim after work and we rented some vcds to watch at his place.....
but his dad was at home arguing with the salesman about their newly acquired tv.....
so we decided to hang out at S-11 with andy (DJ Vortex).....
it was like a gathering of the Spectrum Crew......
chat about putting a gig together for we're all itching to play out again.....
as we chatted, we met more and more familiar faces and soon the group became bigger and bigger....
the Pention State guys were there, then fu and yun came to meet us for supper.....
talked more then headed home......

trying to keep myself busy and my mind off stuff......

posted by de @ 11:42 AM 0 comments

work work work, then to the gym and a jog......
felt better after a workout, letting all that stored emotions out....
exhausted from all the shit i'm going through......
everything feels so far away from me......
it feels like a part of my life is gone.....
and i'm starting to lose the meaning of life.....

depression? maybe.....
hurt? definitely.....
anger? sometimes....
sadness? tons.....
lost? eversince.....

posted by de @ 8:50 AM 0 comments

nothing interesting happened today......
work as usual......
realised that i've been promoted to sargeant
but nothing really matters now.....

tired, in every sense.....

posted by de @ 6:56 AM 0 comments

"when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
i held your hand through all of these years
but you still have
all of me....."

Evanescence - My Immortal

posted by de @ 2:50 PM 0 comments

can't sleep.... keep waking up....
like i'm stuck in one big nightmare over and over again.....
my life is like repeating itself, going round in circles....
think i'm going nauseous from the recycled

listening to Cold Play's "The Scientist" now......
really feeling it now...... it hurts so badly......
it really hits me so hard, word by word......
then my winamp moves to the song Epiphany by Staind
the song speaks for itself and for the wounded......

suffering ever since yet i still hold on..... not letting go.....
stupid? dumb? maybe......
but when something means that much to you, you'll never let it go.....

i wonder how long will this go on......
God have mercy on me.....

posted by de @ 2:27 PM 0 comments

there's so many things going through my mind today.....
i've realised that i'm in a mess....
but i've also realised that it's my fault and own doing that i'm in this state....
i've got no one, but myself to blame....

i've got nothing, i've got no one....
except God.... He's always there for me....
and I Love Him for showing unconditional love....
even though i've wronged Him so many times in so many ways....
He's there to forgive and love....

i'm crying.....
tears of grief, sorrow, pain..... cuz of what i'm going through and what i've realised...
tears of joy, happiness..... cuz i know He's there to comfort, to forgive and love....

I give in...... i'm surrendering everything to You, Lord.....
show me the path that You've laid for me..... i'm letting You lead....

posted by de @ 11:50 AM 0 comments

nothing much today..... slack at home.....
then met chris and june for dinner.....
she's a nice, rad, sweet gal =)

ate at our famous 'clubhouse' prata house.....
wicked!!! haven't been there in ages.....
full.... but proceeded with dessert at the Strudel place, forget what name liao lah....

shoiks

knuckle still hurts...... bandaged it up.....
now i'm typing with 1 1/2 hands...... hehe.....

got the song 'my reply' by the ATARIS stuck in my head now
man, so simple but so impactful.......
guess simplicity is the best form of expression.......
i guess it applies to personal behaviours also....
being straight-forward in some sense....

like Jesus said, ' let your yes by yes and your no be no'
He da man........ R-E-S-P-C-E-T, erm i mean, R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!!

- GOT JESUS? -

posted by de @ 9:50 AM 0 comments

church was great today.... for me that is.....
cuz i got the chance to hang out with the gals and guys
haven't been talking to them much...... so it's been good
went to Elaine's place for her birthday celebration.
21, gal!!! welcome to adulthood!!! =)

kind of sprained my left, middle finger today.....
was just cracking my knuckles as usual when i felt an unusual discomfort to my finger
till now, the joint with the knuckle still hurts..... damn.....
hope i didn't break anything..... sheesh.....
even have abit of difficulty typing this blog.......

called renee today.....
sigh, it was good to hear her voice again.....
miss her so very much.....

- GOT EMPTINESS? -

posted by de @ 12:25 PM 0 comments

endurance is what i need, God give me strength......

posted by de @ 6:02 AM 0 comments

watched X Men 2 with tim and gracy this morning, 12.30am.
wicked!!! much better then the first..... but it's abit dark though
haven't been hanging out much with them, so it's kinda nice seeing them again

slept at 4am, and woke up at 10am..... why?
becuz i received a call, to go back to camp.... "recall" that's what they say
and they wanted 2 medics to go back to HQ....
i couldnt' believe it, this happened twice in a week....
depriving me of my precious sleep, which i haven't got much.....

when i got to camp, i finally realised why i was back
the guardroom was running out of ear probes/plastics for the ear thermometer,
and the DO (duty officer) panicked, called one of my superiors and asked 2, yes 2 medics to come down
just to wash,dry and hand them some clean ear probes.......................................................

I WANT TO CURSE RIGHT NOW

these brainless morons couldn't wash their own ear probes for themselves
they need 2 MEDICS , i repeat, 2 MEDICS to get them clean ones
and they so proclaim it as a RECALL, which is an exercise or a standby

PARDON ME IF I CURSE RIGHT NOW

this is SCDF for you, ladies and gentlemen..... onward with saving lives..... hurray... celebrate...
was too tired to do anything else when i got back cuz of the disturbance and lack of sleep
and that was how i spent my labour day, some holiday this is.....

-GOT NO LIFE -

posted by de @ 5:58 AM 0 comments